Listen to Mom – Men Need Guidance!
When I was little, my mom took me aside, sat me down, and gave me the most important piece of relationship advice for women that I could have hoped for. She had such an air of significance; I knew that she was going to tell me something important. “Honey,” she said, “men are not psychic. You need to tell them what you want; they can’t read your mind.” Simple, elegant, and yet how often we forget! I still don’t know what caused her to tell me this; I was pretty young at the time, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because of something that I did, but maybe it was.
Regardless, this has been the most important piece of relationship advice for women that I have carried on with me in my adult life. So many times, women come to expect things that their men cannot even hope to understand or fulfill. It’s extremely frustrating for both sides, because when you don’t get what you were wanting or expecting from him, you feel let down or angry. And while he didn’t pick up on the vibes that you were giving him about cleaning the bathroom while you were out, he will definitely pick up on the ‘angry and disappointed’ vibes, and then he will be both confused and upset.
And everyone knows that two upset people is a recipe for relationship disaster! Instead of letting this happen, pop your head in the bedroom before you leave and say “Love, I would really appreciate if you would clean the bathroom while I’m gone. I’ll be back in a few hours!” Then, when you get home, either the bathroom will be cleaned, or he will know for sure why you are mad at him! One drawback to this is that you do miss out on having him do things spontaneously for you, which is a little bit sad.
But, you can even tell him something like “you should surprise me with something sometime this week,” and let him take it from there. That way you can keep the spontaneity by giving him a wide amount of time and number of options, but you can still be sure that you effectively communicated your desire for him to do something nice for you within a set period of time. So, my most important piece of relationship advice for women – don’t be disappointed when he doesn’t do things that you expected him to! Tell him what you want him to do, and then be mad when he acts lazy!
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